A pedophile and a little boy are walking into the woods late at night.
The little boy says, "I'm scared."
The pedophile says, "You think you're scared? I have to walk back alone!"
Joke Jokes
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
- Carlos.
What is long and not hairy?
The conga line in the cancer department.
I told my friend yesterday he's literally my dad.
He didn't show up for the rest of the year.
Ever since I needed a wheelchair, my husband has been so rude. He’s been pushing me around and talking behind my back.
Yo, forehead is so big...the photo on yo driver's license says "to be continued on the back."
I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. You guys didn't like it.
If you leave your small children inside a shower with Kelly Clarkson, you're a filthy parent.
It's been raining for days. My wife is totally depressed. She keeps looking through the window. If this keeps up, I'll have to let her in.
These jokes are so dark they almost stole my bike.
Your forehead's so big that it has its own gravitational pull.
All these jokes are so offensive, Mr. Hawking just won’t stand for it.
The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar.
It was tense.
So I was sitting on the couch with a woman, and I asked her, "Does this napkin smell like chloroform?"
April Fools' joke: Go to an orphanage and say your parents came back.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.
I was in school yesterday and I saw this emo kid with a new cut, so I said, "I like ya cut g." And I slapped him. I don't know why I got in so much trouble. All I did was slap his wrist.
When the chair was invented, the inventor's friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: "You might want to sit down for this."
