Joke jokes

Me: spreading positivity.

Everyone else at the HIV testing center.

People keep telling me that I should stop making sh jokes... bro it's not that deep.

Dark humor is like water. Some people get it, some people don't.

All these jokes are so offensive, Mr. Hawking just won’t stand for it.

What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer?

The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

Up into the sky so very far, here comes Dr. Seuss! "ALLAHU AKBAR", at the ripe old age of 97, he committed 9/11.

Why do emo people want to be called scene now? The only thing I've seen from them is their suicide rate climbing.

A pedophile and a little boy are walking into the woods late at night.

The little boy says, "I'm scared."

The pedophile says, "You think you're scared? I have to walk back alone!"

I told my friend yesterday he's literally my dad.

He didn't show up for the rest of the year.

Yo, forehead is so big...the photo on yo driver's license says "to be continued on the back."

(This is a fucked up pick up line). Are you a building? Because I rate you 9/11.

If you leave your small children inside a shower with Kelly Clarkson, you're a filthy parent.

What is the best part about Alabama prostitutes?

Family comes first.

These jokes are so dark they almost stole my bike.

It's been raining for days. My wife is totally depressed. She keeps looking through the window. If this keeps up, I'll have to let her in.

I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. You guys didn't like it.

What is Mexico's favorite sport? Cross country.

So I was sitting on the couch with a woman, and I asked her, "Does this napkin smell like chloroform?"

Your forehead's so big that it has its own gravitational pull.

Two friends are talking and one says, "I had a good day today, I ran into my ex." The other guy replies, "How is that good?" The friend says, "I was in my car."