Joke jokes

What dinosaur loves music?

The velociRAPtor!

What is it called when a gay guy punches someone?

Fruit punch.

Christmas special

Me: Can you describe Mrs. Claus in 3 words? Santa: Ho ho ho.

What's the difference between cancer and a baby?..

There is none.

Why did the man die of the actor's performance?

The performance was unbeLIVEable!

Little boy: Are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?

Little boy: Your parents.

What is a necrophiliac's favorite candy? A Hearsey's Kiss.

How did you get Sally into a blender?

- Without much resistance.

How do you get Sally out of a blender?

- Tortilla chips.

What does a lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?

"Same time next month?"

What do you call a feminine cow?

A dairy queen.

What do you call an orphan's family tree? A stump.

All these African jokes aren't funny when you are a lover of Africa, how are there still Africans alive? Y'all are racist and may God forgive you. You know we're rich with natural resources, that's why y'all come to steal from us. Shame on you all!

Stop saying negative shit about dark humor jokes! If it bugs you that bad, then go away! That'll solve everything but world hunger and failed abortion.

Q. What color were Mohammed Atta’s eyes?

A. Blue, one blue this way and one blue the other way.

I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic.

I figured I would steel it and put it on this site. I mean, it was either that, or lose it forever.

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Because I unplugged his life support to charge my phone.

Apparently, I'm a category for jokes now. Hmm... ok!

#HOMIEZ4Life

P.S. Say "crack my finger," now say it backwards :)

Why did Bob go to the store? To bob for apples.

Guy: Why can't Jesus have M&M's?

Priest: Why?

Guy: Because they'll fall through the hole in his hands.

Q: What's brown and sticky?

A: A stick :)