Joke jokes
Did you know that Helen Keller had a dog?
Well, neither did she!
What do you call a fish that smokes? "A puffer."
I'd make a joke about Noble Gases, but I probably wouldn't get much of a reaction.
I got a joke.
Allahu Akbar!
Why do you go to the bank?
To get money.
When do you run from the bank?
When the cops come.
A wife and husband were setting up their computer, and the husband made the password "my dick." But the wife fell on the floor laughing because the computer said the password was too short.
I'd make 9/11 jokes, but they'd just crash and burn.
A bear is like your best mate, Harry.
If you stab them, they die from a stab wound.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Dad!
Dad who?
*Silence*
What colors were Kurt Cobain's eyes? Blue! One blew right and the other blew up!
What do you call a paralyzed turtle?
Shell shocked.
Never joke about 9/11, they'll just crash and burn.
“Did you show him the pictures of our cats?”
“Yes.”
“Did you hang ‘em?”
Why do kids with cancer hate their birthday?
They don't know if they'll be alive to see it.
What did Adam say when he saw Eve?
Answer: "Woman!"
What is a cannibal's favorite food?
Crackers.
Déjà Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.
It was 7:00 a.m. when Billy ran downstairs after a long night of sleep. He got to the kitchen where his mother and father sat. "What would you like for breakfast?" Billy's mom asked politely. Billy replied with, "Whatever Dad gave you last night in your bedroom would be great! You seemed to like it very much!"
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Must be more than 9, my basement is still dark!
Me: What’s that girl’s name from Phineas and Ferb, the sister?
Crush: Candice.
Me: Candice dick fit in your mouth?
Crush: *slaps me, walks away*