Joke jokes
The reason Stephen sounds like a computer is because he ate his USB.
What's the difference between your mom and your dad? One leaves your life to go get milk, and the other cleans up after you, feeds you, and does your laundry.
What is black, white, and red all over?
A dead zebra 🦓
What's the difference between a blonde and your computer?
You don't want your computer to go down on you.
Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"
Sixty years ago, Stephen Hawking's teacher got fired for accidentally making an offensive joke. What was it? Go for your dreams, kids. Reach for the stars.
Why do Indian men marry fat women?
What did the cow say to the sheep?
“Moo!”
What did the sheep say to the cow?
“That was a bad joke!”
How do Asian people name their children?
They throw a pan down the stairs.
What would your name be? Msg it to @chelsearosegraham.
What did the chef say to the skeleton?
"Bone appetit!"
I tried a pun about water, but people "sea" right through it, and when people complain, they are usually just being a beach.
God better hope they got an elevator to Heaven.
Q: What did the man say after removing another man's hat? A: He was decapitated.
Want to hear an inside joke? I walked into a house.
Want to hear an outside joke? I walked out of that house.
Wanna hear a joke about measurement... never mind, it would take too long.
I told a cookie a joke the other day.
It just crumbled.
I named my horse Mayo.
Mayo neighs.
If Stephen Hawking is dying, where do I take him, Currys PC World, or a hospital?
These murder jokes are just KILLING me!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes a very bad joke!