Joke jokes
10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!
Did you hear about the four foot tall psychic who escaped prison?
He's a small medium at large.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No-eye-deer (no idea).
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims: they went through a hundred stories in 10 seconds.
HEY! You guys need to S T O P making Stephen Hawking jokes. He has done so much for the theoretical physics world, and THIS is how you choose to repay him? All 653 of you should be ashamed of yourselves.
What’s white and crunchy and swings through trees?
A meringue-atang.
Looks like someone's funny bone's broken!
At night in the Nunnery, one Nun says to the other Nun, "Where's the candle?" The other Nun says, "Doesn't it!"
Boy: Have you heard of the cool kid who just told us he had autism?
Teacher: What?
Boy: Well... never mind, he's well supported.
I'm supposed to put a joke here.
But I can't find a mirror...can you find one yourself?
I'm sure you'll laugh.
Mom: See that guy over there with no hands, tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I'm blind.
Mom: Exactly!
I know a lot of jokes, but I could learn a femor.
Why did the toad cross the road?
To show his girlfriend he had guts.
Fortnite is good.
(Awesome joke, right?)
I wondered why the pitcher hadn’t pitched the ball yet.
Then it hit me.
Titanic jokes sink in. Pun intended.
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?
If you said he felt it in his bones, you're wrong. He watched the weather forecast.
My dad and I were talking and my cat left the room.
So I said, "I guess she wasn't feline it."
My dad said, "You've got to be kitten me, that was purrfect!"
I said, "Literally."
This isn't a joke, just an American back-to-school list.
1. Pencils
2. Binders
3. Paper
4. Pencil sharpener.
What, did you think I was going to make a school shooter joke?
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was running from you, hehe.