Joke jokes
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bartender here?"
"Déjà moo": The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Fuck. Fuck who? What, are you kidding me? I just wanted to tell you a joke!
Are you wearing a diaper? Because your butt looks so saggy.
Guy #1 is being picked up by Guy #2 from the hospital.
Guy #1: Oh man, I just got my prostate checked. It's not looking good.
Guy #2: Why, what is it?
Guy #1: Turns out, I have prostate cancer.
Guy #2: Oh man that sucks...
Guy #1: Yeah, it's a real pain in the ass!
What did the Indian say to the fat man?
"Curry up!"
What did the one-handed man have for breakfast this morning?
Finger food.
My friend said to me, "How do you spell Tom?" and I said, "T-O-M-M." He said, "That's not how you spell 'it's Tom.' You have to take out one 'M'."
So I said, "But which one?"
Have you heard of the... uh Pokemon called uh rhy... rhy... Rhydon deez nuts?
I got a heart pain then I went to [the] hospital. When the doctor says I am dead, but I run then I jump. I am not dead!
What's so bad about 9 divided by 11?
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. Wing-wing Halo?
I'll stop with the horrible puns if you can say a good joke.
Do you wanna hear a Gay Joke...
Butt fuck it.
I was always poked and told at weddings your next...
So I went to funerals and poked them and said your next.....
Why is 3 such a helpful number? Because 3 helped out on a science project 4 5!
This is a lot like anal sex.
You always miss 100% of the shots if you don't take it.
What number is better; 46 or 47?
I don't know, ask the kid with Down syndrome.
Ever notice 9-1-1 (the number for the po-po) is the Great Date (9-11)... Hmmm.