I was always poked and told at weddings your next...
So I went to funerals and poked them and said your next.....
Joke Jokes
Why is 3 such a helpful number? Because 3 helped out on a science project 4 5!
This is a lot like anal sex.
You always miss 100% of the shots if you don't take it.
What number is better; 46 or 47?
I don't know, ask the kid with Down syndrome.
Ever notice 9-1-1 (the number for the po-po) is the Great Date (9-11)... Hmmm.
So a blond and a brunette jumped out of a plane. Who hit the ground first?
The blond because she had to ask for directions.
A joke, huh?
My sense of humor.
What do you call a three-legged cow?
Disabled.
An American and an Asian walk into a bar. What are your names? the bartender asks. The American says, "William Matthews." The Asian says, "Same Ting."
Why did Steward die in the toilet?
He saw his Undercut in the mirror.
How do you get a million Pikachus in a bus?
You shove them on!
Why did the mushroom go to the party??
Because he was a fungi!
What do you say when you see a pig making bread?
He's bacon.
What does a skeleton put on his roof?
Shin-gulls.
What's a similarity between blondes and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to turn them on before they start to suck.
What's the difference between a feminist and a pencil?
One of them has a POINT:)
I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"
How does an Indian open his car?
"Boot, boot!" (in an Indian accent)
A momma cow and three baby calves are on a farm. The first baby calf asks the momma cow, "Mom, why is my name Rose?"
The mom responded, "Well, you see, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second one asks her, "Then why is my name Daisy?"
The mom chuckled and simply replied with, "When you were born, Daisy petals fell on your head."
The last one said, "DUH DUR SURH!"
The mom said, "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!"
What is brown and extremely sticky?
A stick.