Joke jokes
What did the one-handed man have for breakfast this morning?
Finger food.
My friend said to me, "How do you spell Tom?" and I said, "T-O-M-M." He said, "That's not how you spell 'it's Tom.' You have to take out one 'M'."
So I said, "But which one?"
Have you heard of the... uh Pokemon called uh rhy... rhy... Rhydon deez nuts?
I got a heart pain then I went to [the] hospital. When the doctor says I am dead, but I run then I jump. I am not dead!
What's so bad about 9 divided by 11?
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. Wing-wing Halo?
I'll stop with the horrible puns if you can say a good joke.
Do you wanna hear a Gay Joke...
Butt fuck it.
I was always poked and told at weddings your next...
So I went to funerals and poked them and said your next.....
Why is 3 such a helpful number? Because 3 helped out on a science project 4 5!
This is a lot like anal sex.
You always miss 100% of the shots if you don't take it.
What number is better; 46 or 47?
I don't know, ask the kid with Down syndrome.
Ever notice 9-1-1 (the number for the po-po) is the Great Date (9-11)... Hmmm.
So a blond and a brunette jumped out of a plane. Who hit the ground first?
The blond because she had to ask for directions.
A joke, huh?
My sense of humor.
What do you call a three-legged cow?
Disabled.
An American and an Asian walk into a bar. What are your names? the bartender asks. The American says, "William Matthews." The Asian says, "Same Ting."
Why did Steward die in the toilet?
He saw his Undercut in the mirror.
How do you get a million Pikachus in a bus?
You shove them on!
Why did the mushroom go to the party??
Because he was a fungi!