I could tell you the one about the broken pencil... but it's pointless.
Joke Jokes
Three nuns died in a car crash. They went up to heaven at the pearly gates. The gatekeeper said, "This really should not have happened, so I am going to send you back to earth as different people. Tell me who you want to be or look like." The first nun said, "I want to look like Madonna." Puff, you look like her now, but you can’t use her name. And sent her down to earth. The second one said, "I want to look like Marilyn Monroe." He then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun said, "I want to look like Sarah Pipalini." The gatekeeper says to her, "Sarah Pipalini, who is that?" She gives the gatekeeper a newspaper article. He reads it, shakes his head no, and says, "It’s not Sarah Pipalini, it's Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men."
Did you hear about the old Italian chef?? Yeah he pasta away.
Then a man walked comprehending to be him. Everyone knew he was an impasta.
Why did all the numbers laugh at 22? Because it had "tu tu's."
Yes, I'm CUTE.
C-ringe U-gly T-errible E-mpty.
59009 flip it backwards on your calculator... it = boobs!
My people are starving. Stop Africa jokes. Not funny >:(
Two men walk into a bar. You’d think at least one of them would have ducked.
Does your shoe have a hole in it?
No.
Then how did you put your foot in it?
MAN 1) Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
MAN 2) No.
MAN 1) Neither did he.
What's sad and has no life? The person reading this.
Sugar Honey Ice Tea.
I FORGOT MY JOKE!
What's the difference between cancer and me?
My dad didn't beat cancer... Whelp, I guess I stole that one.
The cat ran across the road when the car swerved. It killed a bear that killed a dog that killed a squirrel that killed a nut. The cat survived it all. The cat killed the squirrel and the bear with the car...
The cat still died, why?
It had a Catastrophic Catcident.
What did Connor Lys Clark say to Karl Kassulke? "I love bridges!"
What is red and green and goes 100 miles per hour?
A frog in a blender.
Why did the orphan run into the street? To get to the other side of life.
If I had a sister with only 1 leg... wouldn't her name be I-Lean?
what do you call a lazy gay?
someone who comes straight out of the closet, and goes straight to the couch.
You are a joke.