Joke jokes
I once did an exam on rainbows. I passed with flying colors.
There was a guy called Manners, one called Poo, and one called Shut Up.
One day, Manners was on his way to pick up Poo from school. A police officer stopped Shut Up and said:
Police: "What’s you name?"
Shut Up: "Shut Up."
Police: "Where's your manners?!"
Shut Up: "Picking up Poo."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I did not say banana? Ha ha!
The duck bought lipstick. When he paid, he said, "Put it on my bill."
A pun enters the room and kills ten people.
Pun in, ten dead.
What instrument do a pair of sheep play? The two-baaaa.
What did the cookie say to the milk?
What’s up duud?
What did the Indian cheese say to the other cheese?
"Tu cheese badi hai mast mast!"
Why was Timmy so sad? Because his dad stapled a frog to his forehead.
What sayd the man to the woman??
Go to the kitchen lol.
The joke is this website.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he felt like it mind your f***ing business like damn.
What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
Car-los
Chuck Norris would have died a couple of years ago, but death hasn't built up the courage to tell him.
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.
Have you heard of the new book about anti-gravity?
Well, I just can't seem to put it down.
I could tell you the one about the broken pencil... but it's pointless.
Three nuns died in a car crash. They went up to heaven at the pearly gates. The gatekeeper said, "This really should not have happened, so I am going to send you back to earth as different people. Tell me who you want to be or look like." The first nun said, "I want to look like Madonna." Puff, you look like her now, but you can’t use her name. And sent her down to earth. The second one said, "I want to look like Marilyn Monroe." He then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun said, "I want to look like Sarah Pipalini." The gatekeeper says to her, "Sarah Pipalini, who is that?" She gives the gatekeeper a newspaper article. He reads it, shakes his head no, and says, "It’s not Sarah Pipalini, it's Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men."
Did you hear about the old Italian chef?? Yeah he pasta away.
Then a man walked comprehending to be him. Everyone knew he was an impasta.
Why did all the numbers laugh at 22? Because it had "tu tu's."