Joke jokes
- I think you're EGGcellent.
+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.
- Really? Are you done yet?.
+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.
When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye, but when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, suddenly people lose their shit?
What do you call your daughter's boyfriend when he brings her back past 10pm?
An ambulance.
My cock, lmao.
Cremation, the last chance to have a smoking hot body.
Why couldn't the man get out of the maize maze?
He got corn-ered!
What do you say when your friend has an ankle sprain?
"Damn bro, you got an ankle spring!"
Why can you never find a virgin cow on a field with no bulls for miles? Just ask the redneck farmer.
So, I got a paper towel roll, ripped it, but started to fart when I ripped it off, and stopped farting when I got it off the roll, and then I said, "I guess that's why it's called ripping one!"
John saw a Gay in a wheelchair.
"I didn't know a man could be a fruit and a Vegetable!"
A priest and a pedophile walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Jim!"
What does a blondie and a shotgun have in common?
Give them a cock and they're ready to blow.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.
Why did the octopus cross the road?
To get to the other TIDE!!! 🤣🐙🐙
I had a friend named Mari. Sadly, she did drugs.
So one day I go up to her and say, “Mari-juana do this???” She later asked me to leave forever... I don’t gnome why, but... it CRACKed me up a bit!!!
What do you call a broken chicken?
A broken chicken.
A blind comedian walks into a room, or did he? Dun, dun, dun!
I told my dad to get me a packet of cigarettes, he never came back.
AND I still didn't get my FUCKING CIGARETTES!
I was hit on by President Kennedy, too bad I shot him down.
How did the Skeleton know it was gonna rain?
He read the weather forecast.