Joke jokes
Q: Wanna hear a bad cat joke?
A: Just kitten!
I'm bone dry in material, but I have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes. After I tell you all these rib ticklers, you will have a bone to pick with if you didn't find that funny, you outta rip my spine out.
What's a skeleton's favorite food?
Spare ribs.
You're so poor, people break into your house and leave things.
Where did Stephen Hawking go when he broke his leg?
Hospital or Currys PC World?
Have you heard about the movie about constipation?
Me neither, it hasn't come out yet.
Q: What do you call white people on a black bus?
A: Oreo
A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system.
He agrees and the doctors turn the dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby and the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.
Aren't my egg yolks amazing? Don't they make you crack up? If not, I better scramble!
The joke about is stupid.
It was an emotional wedding, even the cake was in tiers.
Did you hear about the 100 centimeter girl?
I’d really like to meter.
Why didn’t Steven Hawking go to heaven? Because it was a stairway, not a rampway.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No, I'm not.
You are American when you walk to the bathroom. What are you when you are in there?
You're-a-peein'. European.
I'd make a farming joke, but I'm just a little less than corny enough.
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
A Sax-O-Bone.
What did the suicidal leprechaun say?
"Irish I was dead."
Why does this stingray's wife can't stop babbling?
'Cause she can't watch her mouth.
Why did the man put himself on fire?
To BURN Calories.