Joke

Joke Jokes

Girlfriend

I asked my girlfriend if she was a smoke alarm. She said, "Is it because I warned him when hotness came?" I said, "No, you don’t shut up!"

Name

There was a guy called Manners, one called Poo, and one called Shut Up.

One day, Manners was on his way to pick up Poo from school. A police officer stopped Shut Up and said:

Police: "What’s you name?"

Shut Up: "Shut Up."

Police: "Where's your manners?!"

Shut Up: "Picking up Poo."

Banana

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Banana.

Banana who?

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Banana.

Banana who?

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Orange.

Orange who?

Orange you glad I did not say banana? Ha ha!

Duck

The duck bought lipstick. When he paid, he said, "Put it on my bill."

Cheese

What did the Indian cheese say to the other cheese?

"Tu cheese badi hai mast mast!"

  • 2
  • Frog

    Why was Timmy so sad? Because his dad stapled a frog to his forehead.

  • 3
  • Chicken

    Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he felt like it mind your f***ing business like damn.

    Chuck Norris

    Chuck Norris would have died a couple of years ago, but death hasn't built up the courage to tell him.

    Wife

    what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.

    Book

    Have you heard of the new book about anti-gravity?

    Well, I just can't seem to put it down.