Joke jokes
I'll never forget my dad's last words before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, look how far I can kick this bucket!"
What do you call a woman covered in mud? A dirty dishwasher.
I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"
Mum: Why are roses red?
Child: Stop, Mum, you never make jokes.
Mum: I made you.
Why is the number 10 always scared?
Answer: He’s in the middle of 9/11.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side. Y'all knew this one, fr.
What’s the difference between your dad and your hairline?
Nothing, they both ran off.
What does my arm have in common with paper?
They both can be cut.
Why did the math book kill itself?
It had too many problems.
What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, it just waved. This was the worst joke ever.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?
A quarter pounder with cheese.
What does a race track and your hairline have in common? They both go up and down.
"What do you call a person who is afraid of Santa Claus?"
"Claustrophobic!"
Yo mama so old that her breastmilk was powdered. You breastfeed like this 🌬💨.
What do you call a bunny with a bent dick?
Fucks funny.
There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?
One has a functioning neck.