Joke jokes
Why did the math book kill itself?
It had too many problems.
What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, it just waved. This was the worst joke ever.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?
A quarter pounder with cheese.
What does a race track and your hairline have in common? They both go up and down.
"What do you call a person who is afraid of Santa Claus?"
"Claustrophobic!"
Yo mama so old that her breastmilk was powdered. You breastfeed like this 🌬💨.
What do you call a bunny with a bent dick?
Fucks funny.
There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?
One has a functioning neck.
Fat jokes and mom jokes😂
1. So fat when she sat on the toilet, she said, "A B C D E F G, get your fat ass off me."
2. So fat, your dad and her were in bed and tried to kiss. He’d have to slap her belly and ride the third wave up.
3. Yo mama so fat that when she went to Japan in a green bikini, they all started yelling, "Godzilla, Godzilla."
4. Your mama’s so fat when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!
5. Bill was so fat when he stepped on the scale, it said "to be continued."
6. Yo mama so fat, she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
What do you call 4 black guys and 2 white guys?
The Oreo Gang!
Joke time!
Now, Heaven or Hell?
Heaven: we got clouds.
Hell: we got a frickin' private yacht!
What does an autistic kid and a loaf of bread have in common?
They both have special needs.
Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?
I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...
What is worse than seeing your sibling drown?
Getting the water bill.
Why do they call matches, matches?
They all look the same.
A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?"
The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again."
An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room."
"You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."
A penguin takes his car to the shop, and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the cleanest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal."
"No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream."
If your Uncle Jack was on his roof, and he wanted you to help him down, would you help your Uncle Jack off?
A family's driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windshield. Embarrassed, and trying to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, dear. That was just an insect."
"Wow," the boy replies. "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"