Joke jokes

A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend asks, "Where is your girlfriend?"

The guy replies, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week, and you'll find out!"

A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."

My dad went to school saying dad jokes. I was embarrassed and I cried with a-dult cry.

As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers.

Lol making jokes about cancer makes me feel better as a person that had cancer, it’s great!

What's the best time to hang out with an Indian? When your nose is clogged.

When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”

So, we all know that old kids' joke: why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. Well, why was 10 scared? Because he was in the middle of 9 11.

I saw my wife at the dam yesterday. Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.

What talks high pitched and can't fly?

A gay man in Iran.

Whoever is reading this, I hope you have a good day because I feel bad you're so short.

I called the Chinese takeaway yesterday. A man picked up the phone and said: "Hello! I am Wan Kin, the chef." I said that I'll come back later.

Roses are red.

I have free candy. Get in my van. I have free candy!

What do you call 2 homeless people throwing rocks at each other? "Pillow Fight!"

I remember when I was at a funeral at the age of 6. I was with my grandma and asked, "Grandma, Grandma, why is that man in a box?"

And she says, "He's in a better place now." I look at her confused and ask, "What kind of box did he live in before?! How is this box better than the last one?! It's just a box!"

And to this day I am still not allowed to go to funerals.

A fat girl was dancing on the table, and I said, "Nice legs." She says, "You really think so?" And I say, "Yes, definitely, most tables would have been broken by now."

I have it.

Perfect dinner joke.

Did you hear about the new movie, "Constipated?"

It hasn’t come out yet.

(Wait, forgot about the 3rd third thing.) I have said this countless times, but it doesn't seem to be getting through to you: quit hating on particular jokes. You don't like it? Nobody cares. Don't go into the morbid jokes category, you idiots, ffs!

What can happen if you bring a hooker into a stranger's house? He will ask you, "Really, are you nuts?"