Joke jokes
If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
Big hands.
"Sir, we're mining too many useless mineral ores."
Hitler: "Mine less, then."
Grammar Nazi bursts in: "MINE FEWER!"
Hitler looks over: "Yes?"
Hey, what are those things on your arms? They look like cuts. Wait, what? No, it's just marker. Nothing else...
Why can't an orphan go on a field trip?
'Cause they need parent registration!
The difference between dark jokes and morbid is,
dark jokes are 10 babies in 1 trash can, and
morbid jokes are 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?
What is Hitler's favorite food? A hindenburger.
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.
It's not that I don't get the laugh, but most of you need to read through what's already been posted, 'cause everybody's saying the same sh*t.
Um, please do not swear, there is no need. Could you maybe just find clean jokes?
A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.
Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"
Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"
Priest: "Fuck the children."
Rabbi: "Do we have time?"
Priest: "There's always time for something like that."
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
When the school shooter finds you under the table,
"Wonderful weather we're having!"
Why'd the chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the gay (guys/girls) house.
(Wait awhile) then ask “knock knock?” Other person says “Who’s there?”
A: The chicken.
At first, I didn't like Big Ben, but then I went there and the experience was un-BELL-ievable!
What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?
My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.
This isn't a joke, but in some countries, children eat their shit for better digestion when constipated.
Why can't you fool an aborted baby? Because it was not born yesterday.
What did the terrorist say to the 72 virgins?
"Just so you know, 5 inches is REALLY big!"
A guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and says, "Who the fuck's been fucking my wife?" The room goes silent. The guy in the back finishes his beer and says, "You ain't got enough bullets."