Joke jokes
Why can’t orphans have milk?
Because their dad never came back.
What’s one store an orphan can’t shop at?
HomeGoods ;)
What’s the difference between a kid with cancer and a dark humor joke?
They never get old.
Why did the Orphan punch the other orphan?
Because the orphan broke his leg then had to get a retirement fund, so then he farted and got 1m dollars in cash, so then he started eating his toe jam and thought it tasted really good, so he started selling it to Taco Bell, then ate a cow. All the sudden he was attacked by hangry aliens then gave them some toe jam. They loved it, so they farted there way back up to space where they were eating Harold's fresh toe jam. It was so good, then one of the aliens ate there dog, so had to go the dollar tree to get it out then started gagging on one of the aliens' 2 meter defeater, and then the Orphan made out with the other Orphan and had a wedding at playground sharting happily ever after.
What do you call a special ed class that’s flooded?
Vegetable soup.
Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?
A. I have too many problems.
What is the best whey to make friends with an American boy, you bunch?
What do you call an orphan who grows up and becomes a priest?
Father Les.
What 7 letters do you say when you open the fridge and see it’s empty?
O I C U R M T
Lol, I have no life :)
Ahem... if somebody you don't like, or somebody random just calls you in general,
answer the phone with this:
"Hello, thank you for choosing Mama's Pizzeria/Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, how may I help you?"
or
"Hello, this is David's Orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"
Some people's reactions are priceless, and then they wonder about your mental health.
Women are like marshmallows because they are white, squashy, and we put our sticks inside you.
The F in "I'm orphan" stands for family.
But there is no F.
Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you.”
Person I’m talking to: *Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline* “haha what.”
Hey, wanna hear a joke?
My life :(
What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?
They both have something hanging in their closet.
An attractive man and a blonde meet in an elevator.
"Where are you heading today?" the man asks.
"I'm going down to give blood."
"How much do you get paid for giving blood?"
"About $30."
"Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100."
The woman, slightly annoyed, gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again.
"Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?"
"Sperm bank," she mumbles with her mouth full.
What did the female rapper say when her boyfriend pulled his pants down and exposed his huge balls?
“I like big nuts and I cannot lie!”
Knock knock. Who's there? Dees. Dees who? Dees nuts!
(Or dees nuts in yo mouth!)
What does the hare say to the other hare? You look nice with your hare cut!