Why was Jesus Christ cut from the hockey team?
He kept getting nailed to the boards.
Joke Jokes
Me: Man, I wish my clothes were emo.
Friend: Why?
Me: So they would hang themselves.
What do 3-year-old boys say after going to confession?
"My bum hurts!"
Why did Sally stare out the window for 24 hours straight?
Sally's used to being blind!
Okay not a depression joke but... what’s worse than 10 babies in 1 bucket?
1 baby in 10 buckets.
Why is it illegal to do reverse cowgirl in Alabama? You never turn your back to your family.
Oh, my fat joke offended you? Which one of your chins did I hurt?
What does a perverted frog say? Rub it.
Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom.
What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped.
What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender.
Why did the cow have for breakfast?
Answer: Muesli.
Someone asked me why I'm still here... the answer is simple: I don't want to be used as a school assembly.
My friend was on a wheelchair... he committed suicide yesterday. I remember when I met him last time, he told us a good joke and I appreciated him and told him to become a stand-up comedian.
What do Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker have in common?
They both died at 95.
What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?
Quarter pounder with cheese.
I would tell a Koby joke...
But it would just crash and burn.
it's not rape if we're both screaming
Did you know that if you go into an orphanage and tell them a "yo mama" joke, they won’t get it?
Why do short people laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
Let's have toast in the bath.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Broken pencil.
Broken pencil who?
Never mind, it's pointless.
What do you call a disabled kid with a gun?
Special forces.
