Joke jokes
What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?
5% of atheists have seen a ghost.
5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.
Did you ever see any white men drowning in the Atlantic Ocean?
Yeah, it went on and on.
Imagine this: You're at math class. The teacher asks you, "What's 11 * 11?" You say, "120." The teacher says, "Wrong!" You say, "How off was I?" The teacher says, "1."
Me rn: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHERES THE RAGE TABLE or something like that.
My wife called me a pedophile. That is a big word for a 2 year old.
How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickle its balls.
Why are orphans good at being a criminal?
Because they're not wanted.
What's an orphan's least favorite meme? "Family."
Q. Why didn't Tracy Latimer enjoy her trip to Vancouver?
A. She had to go to GasTown.
My friend and I were joking about a kid in a wheelchair, and another kid came up and said to the wheelchair kid, "You should stand up for yourself."
Your hairline so far back, it's a wide receiver for the Minnesota Vikings.
Your mom checked for your hairline, but she could not find it.
What do the Twin Towers and my Mom have in common? They both went down on my dad.
What do you call Indian dhal that is delicious?
Well, that is DHALicious!
If someone is bullying you for being fat, remember, you're the bigger person, a MUCH bigger person.
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
A police officer pulls over two Catholic priests. He says he's looking for two child molesters.
The Catholic priests look at each other: "We'll do it!"
What do you call a black person in a dark room?
Invisible.
I will make a funny joke if you let me be your boyfriend. I'm 19 and I am Russian.
Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police... Who? It's the police, let me in so I can get some donuts!
What’s a gay person’s favorite race track?
Rainbow Road.