Joke jokes
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance, they looked like hare.
Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.
Why is baby shampoo the best anal lube?
No more tears.
A blonde walks into a bar.
Ouch.
What's long, brown, and sticky?
A stick.
Your momma's so dumb, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand store!
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
Ask them to pronounce "unionized".
Woman jokes aren't funny, period.
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat miner.
How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?
Wave.
What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
The teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Chew chew!"
I don't trust atoms.
They make up everything.
How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
More than three because the basement is still dark!
What did the turtle do when he ran out of gas?
He went to the Shell station.
What do you call a fat psychic?
A four-chin teller.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
It's easy to roast beef.
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff.
What kind of tea do wealthy people own?
Proper-Tea.
Two men were talking about their wives. The first man says, "My wife is an angel." The second man says, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."