I don't trust atoms.
They make up everything.
Joke Jokes
How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
More than three because the basement is still dark!
What did the turtle do when he ran out of gas?
He went to the Shell station.
What do you call a fat psychic?
A four-chin teller.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
It's easy to roast beef.
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff.
What kind of tea do wealthy people own?
Proper-Tea.
Two men were talking about their wives. The first man says, "My wife is an angel." The second man says, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
What do you call a person that inherits a lot of money?
A millionheir.
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?
"Wait, I can explain everything!"
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
You can keep the tip.
What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A roamin' Catholic.
Did you hear about the Mexican train hijacker?
They say he had locomotives.
Why did they call off the leper hockey game?
There was a face-off in the corner.
There are 10 types of people in this world.
Those that know binary and those that don't.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?
Nothing.
What do lesbian vampires say after sex?
"See you next month."
A termite walks into a bar and says, "Hey, is the bartender here?"
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.