Joke jokes
He: "Do you smoke after sex?"
She: "I don't know. I've never looked."
A programmer pushes a stroller through the park. An elderly couple comes along: "Is it a boy or a girl?" The programmer replies, "Yes."
A computer science student is studying under a tree, and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, "Where'd you get that?"
The student on the bike replies, "While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, 'You can have anything you want.'"
The first student responds, "Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb? - None, they declare darkness to be the new standard.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, that's a hardware problem.
How do you tell if a loaf of bread has Down Syndrome?
It has an extra crumb-osome.
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to the other side!
What's a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross country.
What is the name of the bear capital?
Koala Lumpur.
I like my girls like my file systems...
FAT and 16.
A blind man once told me he smokes a lot because he has nothing to look forward to. Well, let's just say that I see his point.
Why is flour retarded?
Because it's in-bread.
How do you make an octopus laugh?
You give it ten tickles.
What is brown and sticky?
A stick.
What do classical musicians do when they die?
They decompose.
I told a chemist a joke.
No reaction.
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
You'd think it'd be R, but really his heart will always belong to the C.
The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar.
It was tense.
Confucius say, man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
What do you call a communist pirate ship?
The USS Arrrrr.