I had a conversation with a Möbius strip.
It was one-sided.
Joke Jokes
What do you call a dog with no legs? -- Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"Ash."
"Ash who?"
"Bless you!"
What do you call a dead fly? -- A flew.
What do you call a singing laptop?
A Dell.
"What do you call a deer with no eyes?" -- "No-eye-deer."
Why did the math book go to the psychologist?
It had too many problems.
Why did the author go to the emergency room?
His editor told him he needed an appendix removed.
What animal is best at hitting a baseball? -- A bat.
What do you call a bear with extreme mood swings? -- A bi-polar-bear.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? -- A moosician.
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? -- One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
Why did the coffee file a police report? -- Because it was mugged.
Why was 9 afraid of 20?
Because 28, 29.
Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," says the first.
"Moo!" says the second.
What did the fish say before he hit the wall? -- "Oh, dam."
What does one math book say to the other? -- "Don't bother me. I've got my own problems!"
What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.