Joke jokes
What's the difference between light and hard?
It's easy to get to sleep with a light on.
What's the best thing about abortion jokes?
They never get old.
What's a cannibal's favorite dessert?
Lady fingers.
What is it called when a bull lies about other bulls?
Bullying.
How did the Java programmer's son get rich?
Because of inheritance.
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg?
Eileen.
Why did Marx never drink Earl Grey?
Because proper tea is theft.
Is sex a joke? Because I don't get it.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.
Two blondes fall down a well. One says to the other one, "Isn't it dark down here?" She replies, "I don't know. I can't see."
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
- There's 20 of them.
What do you call a group of letters that like to dance but make you want to poop?
A vowel movement.
I was asked to give a bicycle joke, but I couldn't...
I was two tired.
Dark humor is like food.
Not everyone gets it.
Did you hear about the guy who got a tattoo of an octopus?
He got inked up.
What's the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
A priest, a rapist, a pedophile, and a homosexual walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.
Why do pedophiles never win a race?
Because they are always coming in a little behind.
A pedophile and a little boy are walking into the woods late at night.
The little boy says, "I'm scared."
The pedophile says, "You think you're scared? I have to walk back alone!"