Joe Biden was once president, but he got arrested because he got caught fingering a minor.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
A man dies and goes to Heaven. He sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for. He replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. He said that Mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincoln's once, and George Washington's never.
The man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Biden's is the one keeping the hurricanes to speed.
Joe Biden is the first president in history to have a vice president on record claiming they believed sexual harassment allegations against him.
I don't know about you, but I think that's a pretty big elephant in the room!
I, for one, give President Joe Biden my full support, and anything else he can find in my previously rented gym locker. π€£
"Everyone knows I love kids better than people."
- Joe Biden. (A.K.A. Pedo Peter.)
If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard gunshots, he probably wouldβve thought it was the ice cream truck.
Imagine if Joe Biden was elected for a second term.
He would be the first president to be assassinated by a slick bathtub.
Donald Trump took the bullet better than Joe Biden took the stairs.
Joe Biden wouldβve died in the Secret Service tackle. They would have been like, "Get down Mr. Presi-"
You know how Joe Biden is happy?
When he is rubbing a little girls' shoulders and eating ice cream.
Yo mamma's hairline so god damn far back even Joe Biden wouldn't sniff it
Me Joe Biden: What do you mean *snifff*
Talking to a liberal is like trying to explain social media to a 70 years old.
Why did Joe Biden visit Hiroshima? Because the city has the hottest prepubescent girls in the world.
What's Joe Biden's favorite arcade game?
Space Invaders.
Why is Joe Biden afraid of getting COVID?
Because he'd lose his sense of smell.
What do Joe Biden and Russia have in common?
Neither of them respect boundaries.
Why doesnβt Joe Biden visit children with cancer in hospitals?
Because he canβt sniff their hair.
Donald Trump secretly admires Joe Biden. How do I know?
He attempts to imitate "Sleepy Joe" by falling asleep during his court cases and during part of the Republican National Convention!
What did Joe Biden say when he got pulled over?
I'm just a-Biden the law, officer.
