Government Briefing:
Joe Biden had a meeting with the cabinet today...
...He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.
What's the difference between George Floyd and Joe Biden?
They both talk like they're on fent.
If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard gunshots, he probably would’ve thought it was the ice cream truck.
Joe Biden would’ve died in the Secret Service tackle. They would have been like, "Get down Mr. Presi-"
Donald Trump took the bullet better than Joe Biden took the stairs.
Donald Trump secretly admires Joe Biden. How do I know?
He attempts to imitate "Sleepy Joe" by falling asleep during his court cases and during part of the Republican National Convention!
Bill Clinton and Joe Biden are on a sinking ship.
Joe Biden says we need to save the women and children. Bill Clinton says, "Screw the women and children." Joe Biden says, "Do we have that much time?"
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
If Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden are in a boat and it capsizes, who survives? America.
Talking to a liberal is like trying to explain social media to a 70 years old.
You know how Joe Biden is happy?
When he is rubbing a little girls' shoulders and eating ice cream.
Why did Joe Biden pull out of the Afghanistan war?
Because it was over 18 years old.
What did Joe Biden say to the dog? I'm gonna molest you.
What did Joe Biden say when he got pulled over?
I'm just a-Biden the law, officer.
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.
What's Joe Biden's favorite arcade game?
Space Invaders.
Why is Joe Biden afraid of getting COVID?
Because he'd lose his sense of smell.
Why doesn’t Joe Biden visit children with cancer in hospitals?
Because he can’t sniff their hair.
What does Joe Biden say to young girls when he leaves the room?
"Smell ya later!"
What do Joe Biden and Russia have in common?
Neither of them respect boundaries.
