Jealous jokes

Yo momma's so skinny that even Flat Stanley gets jealous!

Your forehead is damn big, Walt was jealous of you.

Has anyone else ever been jealous when their laptop dies?

You're so fake, Barbie was jealous of you!

I asked the emo at my school if he got jealous when his phone died.

I got jealous when my phone died.

Man, I am jealous of the victims of 9/11. They are the fastest readers, who went through 87 stories in 8 seconds.

Oh, you're jealous now.

Trump cut funding for Sesame Street.

I think he's jealous that the characters on Sesame Street can count to 10.

Do emos get jealous when their phone dies?

I'm jealous of the people who never met you.

Your mom is so hairy that King Kong got jealous of her.

Why was Josef Vasicek a Stanley Cup champion in 2006?

Because you know who was jealous and he went down in 2020.

Why don’t autistic people like Autism Speaks?

They’re jealous that autism can speak.

(This is not meant to be triggering, sorry if it is).

Yo mama so rich the Socs got jealous.

FREE MY ÑIGGA EDP HE INNOCENT ONCE UPON A TIME I WENT OVER TO HIS HOUSE AND HE FARTED SO GAHDAMN MUCH INTO MY MOUTH THAT I STARTED DROOLING A HERSHEY WATERFALL THIS ÑIGGA IS SO SEXY AND I LOVE WHEN HE SITS HIS FAT ASS ON TOP OF ME TYSON U JUST JEALOUS YOU AIN’T GOT NO ONE LIKE BRYANT U RETARDED LOOKING ASS BITCH I DARE YOU TO GET A PARTNER AS LOYAL AND INNOCENT AS EDP FREE MY ÑIGGA BIG HOMIE CHEESE HEAD 474747 HE INNOCENT.

Your forehead is so big Mega Mind gets jealous.

Friends, who's your barber? They mess up big time.

Me.

You're just jealous because my dad cuts my hair for free, and you have to be paying 30 dollars just for that short-ass cut.

Yo mama so fat, she made Fat Albert jealous!

I'm jealous of cancer. My dad beat me but never beat cancer.