Jealous jokes
Why don’t autistic people like Autism Speaks?
They’re jealous that autism can speak.
(This is not meant to be triggering, sorry if it is).
Man, I am jealous of the victims of 9/11. They are the fastest readers, who went through 87 stories in 8 seconds.
Do emos get jealous when their phone dies?
Why were the students jealous of the orphan?
He never had any homework!
(I'm going to hell for this)
Has anyone else ever been jealous when their laptop dies?
1st graders: Ay yo girl, I think you’re beautiful, let’s get married!!
2nd graders: Uhh, don’t tell my mom that we’re dating!! She won’t let me date! Let’s keep this a seeeeecret heeheehee.
3rd graders: Uh, my teacher told me to stay after school because I wrote a poem about you and I’m 9 years old, we have to break up, sweetie.
4th graders: Hey, I think you’re cute!! Wanna date? I don’t think my girlfriend will mind.......
5th graders (they start wearing makeup): Ay girl, your eyelashes are pretty, I like you now, wanna date? Here’s my numberrrrrr.
6th graders: Heyyyyy, I gotta tell you a secret, I got a crush on you!! Don’t tell anyone!! Byeee, ooh, I’ll text you later!
7th graders: We need to make Peyton jealous because she broke up with you!! Wanna date? I mean, you’re not hot, but still, great personalityyyyy, alright, bye now.
8th graders: Hi sweetheart, I got STARRRBUCKKKSSS
Me: UGLY AF AND LITERALLY NO BOYFRIEND.....
Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that always comes out of your mouth?
You're so ugly, even Smara gets jealous.
When does an emo get jealous at a phone?
When it dies.
Yo mama so rich the Socs got jealous.
The man was dangling by a string!
I was jealous the day he died.
Friends, who's your barber? They mess up big time.
Me.
You're just jealous because my dad cuts my hair for free, and you have to be paying 30 dollars just for that short-ass cut.
I'm jealous of cancer. My dad beat me but never beat cancer.
You're so full of shit that the toilet's jealous.
Why was the emo jealous of the orange?
It came precut.
Your forehead is damn big, Walt was jealous of you.
I hate when my class want to play hangman. Not because they hang a man, but because I get jealous.
I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.
They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.
Q: Why did the emo kid get jealous on Xmas?
A: He saw the ornaments hanging.
I get jealous when my phone dies.