Envy jokes
The man was dangling by a string!
I was jealous the day he died.
My sis was funny but sad because I have a boy and she doesn't.
Awww, Gwen thinks she has a boyfriend! Oh wait, no you don't! She is just some loser ass bitch who could be a ho, you don't know. He was mine, and I want him back!
Your hairline is so hideous that Derrick White's hairline envies yours.
I hate when my class want to play hangman. Not because they hang a man, but because I get jealous.
Who I wish I was
Why are emos jealous of light?
The lights are hanging.
What do you call a sandwich 🥪 full of envy?
Peanut Butter n' Jealousy! 😂
I got jealous when my phone died.
Has anyone else ever been jealous when their laptop dies?
I got jealous of the zebras. Sorry, I’ll cut it out. I wanted to practice for my med school test.
I was gonna walk up to an emo and say, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"
Sometimes I get jealous when I see a gravestone.
Why is Donald Trump so jealous of Usain Bolt?
Because he successfully finished a race!
Why was the emo jealous of the orange?
It came precut.
I'm jealous of your heart because it's pumping in you and I'm not.
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.
Do you get jealous of your clothes when they hang from the line?
Sometimes I am happy, and there are times I envy my dog.
Coworker, why is Sara so blue?
Is it because Sara wishes she had a man? coworker she always watches you with your husband together out of love. You better watch out dear, she might "saraorize" him, with her crooked teeth and ultra-thin lips.
I'm jealous of my LED lights, 'cause they're hanging from the ceiling and I'm not.