Why is Donald Trump so jealous of Usain Bolt?
Because he successfully finished a race!
Envy Jokes
Dating a stripper is like eating a bag of chips in class.
Everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down inside they want some too.
I was gonna walk up to an emo and say, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"
I'm jealous of your heart because it's pumping in you and I'm not.
I'm jealous of my LED lights, 'cause they're hanging from the ceiling and I'm not.
I got jealous of the zebras. Sorry, I’ll cut it out. I wanted to practice for my med school test.
Do you get jealous of your clothes when they hang from the line?
The bushes outside got jealous after they saw your eyebrows.
How do you make a blind person jealous? You ask if it's a nice day out.
Sometimes I get jealous when I see a gravestone.
What do you call a sandwich 🥪 full of envy?
Peanut Butter n' Jealousy! 😂
I hate when my class want to play hangman. Not because they hang a man, but because I get jealous.
The man was dangling by a string!
I was jealous the day he died.
Why are emos jealous of light?
The lights are hanging.
I bet emo girls get jealous when people cut paper.
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.
Why are Elmo’s jealous of lights?
Lights are hanging.
Sometimes I am happy, and there are times I envy my dog.
Why was the emo jealous of the orange?
It came precut.
Your hairline is so hideous that Derrick White's hairline envies yours.