Envy jokes
Why are Elmo’s jealous of lights?
Lights are hanging.
Coworker, why is Sara so blue?
Is it because Sara wishes she had a man? coworker she always watches you with your husband together out of love. You better watch out dear, she might "saraorize" him, with her crooked teeth and ultra-thin lips.
I bet emo girls get jealous when people cut paper.
Trump cut funding for Sesame Street.
I think he's jealous that the characters on Sesame Street can count to 10.
I hate when my class want to play hangman. Not because they hang a man, but because I get jealous.
Sometimes I am happy, and there are times I envy my dog.
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies. (This does not apply to me. It's a joke.)
You're so fake, Barbie was jealous of you!
Why was the emo jealous of the orange?
It came precut.
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.
The bushes outside got jealous after they saw your eyebrows.
How do you make a blind person jealous? You ask if it's a nice day out.
There was a fancy dress party; the theme was emotions.
One guy came dressed in green, and he was envy; another person came dressed in red, and she was anger; another guy came dressed in blue, and he was sadness. Two Indians came, one came with a hole in a pear and his d*** was in the pear, said he was deep in dis"pear." The other Indian came with his d*** in custard, and he said he was f***ing dicustard!
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.
Why? You ask.
Because it only takes one charge to bring it back to life.
The man was dangling by a string!
I was jealous the day he died.
Do you get jealous of your clothes when they hang from the line?
I'm jealous of my LED lights, 'cause they're hanging from the ceiling and I'm not.
Has anyone else ever been jealous when their laptop dies?
I’d pound your mom so fast, even Sonic would get jealous!
Why are feminists jealous of men?
Because men don't have to stand up to piss.