Distrust jokes

My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my other girlfriend.

My wife accused me of cheating. I told her she started to sound like my wife.

Question: Why can't you trust a tree?

Answer: 'Cause they are always shady.

My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like.

What's the definition of trust?

Two cannibals giving each other blowjobs.

like this if you don't like school.

Like this post to give someone you hate bad luck.

Mum: If your friend jumped off a cliff, would you?

Me: Oh yeah, no doubt my friend wouldn't even have to jump first.