it's jokes

Bob, why are you kicking the kids?

What, it's not like they have a home to go to.

So I went to a church the other day and I asked my friend, "Is that painting of Jesus and is it through the wall with one with three nails?" Oh wait, I wasn’t even Jesus, he’s not doing the T post that he invented.

I slit my wrist and said, "THAT'S A LOT OF DAMAGE!" So I did it again, but with a knife and said, "NOW *THAT'S* A LOT OF DAMAGE!" I then put watertight Flex Seal on the wound, and it didn't seal.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

So it could get to the other side!

What do you call a dog with no legs?

A: It doesn’t matter; it won’t come anyway.

A man walks into a bar. The man says, "Why the human face?" It's not funny at all.

It was my cousin's birthday and my mom said what should we get her? I said a rope.

I built a website for an orphanage, but it had no homepage.

Who else liked the part in Morbius when he said his catchphrase "IT'S MORBIN' TIME" and MORBED over everyone? In my theater we had a standing ovation!

Your hairline is so long that when I put it on email, it didn't send, which is ETHAN BRIDEWATER.

Q: Why did the math book look so sad?

A: Because of all its problems.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Steven.

Can't you read? It says, "No Hawking."

Why are orphans afraid of your orphanage?

Because I burnt it down!

Your hairline is so bad that it turned Wonder Woman into Failure Man.

Bully: My d*ck is longer than your password. Me: I don't have a password. So you *won't* have a d*ck after I tear it off you.

When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, I said: "Hey, can I borrow that?"

He says "yes." Me, over here, walking to the cashier and saying: "Goodbye!" He screams: "Have mercy!"

I say: "No, not to you, to me. Say goodbye." He says: "No, don't shoot yourself!" It was too late.

I thought it would be fun to become a shooter. It became less fun when I realized that "shooting a woman up" also included a condom.

"I need to go to the doctor!"

"Why?"

"It has a crack in it."

The Demon when it gets summoned to earth only to find out it was a spelling mistake in Latin class. 😬

Check out my new song. It’s called “Nlggas in the hood,” and it’s really good, so go listen.