it's jokes

What is a donkey called when it has a hole on itself?

An ASSHole.

Orphans can’t work at Johnson and Johnson because it’s a family company.

Why do cows do it for the mooooooooooooooooooo?

So 666-3629, so get it?

My sister said download "Among Us" on my iPad, so I did. Then she taught me to play. Then she told me a code and told me where to put it, and I typed in the code.

Then she was the imposter, and I was a crewmate, so I was sticking with her, and she killed me when we made it to the medbay.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

What did the doctor say to the potato?

It told it it had tuberculosis.

It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.

It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

I dropped my phone, but it’s on airplane mode.

Bitch: Nice eyebrows.

Me: Yeah, where's yours, motherfucker?

Bitch: (Realizing she shaved them off cause she thought it would look cool)

The next woman who says she'd rather be alone in the woods with a bear, I'm throwing her in a pit with a bear and making her fight it with a wooden sword while drinking and singing "The Bear and the Maiden Fair."

My boat is super fast, so I named it Usain.

Usain Boat.

Q. Why aren't Epstein jokes funny? A. Because it's such a touchy subject.

It used to be "My Body, My Choice" until Trump came to power. Now it's "Your Body, My Choice."

We recently found out my grandpa is addicted to Viagra.

No one is taking it harder than grandpa.

How many women does it take to change a light bulb?

None, because they're so DARN STUPID!!!!

Why is 69 annoying me? Oh, it's a tease.

20 years later

Johnny: Hey dad.

Dad: Yea?

Johnny: Fuck you, I ain't comin' back to your grave in 16 years, then ima come back, BITCH!

Dad: Doing the same thing I did to you and your mother, ay? I deserve it :( ;O not real...NOT A FUCKING ALL.

Johnny: Yea you kinda fucking do.

Dad:...

This ole boy that's locked up called his ole lady and got into it with her, and she said, "Well, fuck you, I don't need you no more anyway. I got 2 or 3 guys out here wanting me and trying to fuck me."

He said, "Well, honey, that's the least of my worries. I got 10 or 12 guys in here tryin' to fuck me."

So I went to a mall and I was finna buy something... and I saw a little boy and he said "hello," so then I passed by him and he said "hi," and I was like "hi nigga," and he said, "um, just wondering something... I mean I like jokes, but what is dark humor?" And I was like "umm🤔.. it's like 🤔🤔...like you see that guy without legs? Tell him to stand up"... and he said "I'm blind nigga" and I said "exactly homie"... aight nigga peace and look out😏😉