it's jokes
My brother likes his Vegemite so black, it stole our car.
Yo mama so fat that she broke the chair by sitting on it.
My sister said that if you go to a random person's door, the sister will all Waze open it.
What did the swearing hen say?
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" (It's cluck.)
What did the cussing rooster say?
"Cock-a-doodle-doo, phew!"
Doctor: Tomorrow is like John Cena, you won’t see it.
A turtle was walking down the street when suddenly a snail came and robbed him. When the police came, they asked what happened. The turtle responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"
How many kids does it take to change a light bulb? Apparently not 343,646 because my basement is still as dark as yours.
What did the chancla say to the belt?
"It's time."
My name has "anus" in it.
I tried to dress hot so my boyfriend would cast some attention upon me, but it just made him sweat.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it actually comes back.
Just look up texting jokes. Don't ask why, just do it.
Why did the lion say, "I'm faster than you," to the cheetah?
Because it was Halloween!
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes, and everyone is trying to shit on ya.
Why did the fire not burn the kid? Because it had no lips.
When a person went to a restaurant, they died once they were in. Three people were a suspect. Two were suspected because she served the food. Turns out, it was the food!
There was once a genie with a 10 foot weenie, and he showed it to the neighbors next door.
They thought it was a snake and hit it with a rake. Now it's only 6.4ft.
What day can you have sex on?
Answer: Wednesday. Why? Because it's hump day.
When a hedgehog finds poop, they put it in their mouths. They mix it with saliva until it's a foam, then rub it on themselves.
I watched the series of "Unfortunate Events" 4 times, all the shows 4 times. I am crying. I am trying to finish the rest, then my brother comes in and says it is PG (Parental Guidance). After that, my brother called me a baby, then he pushed me off my bed. 😭