it's jokes
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer. It never gets old.
How do you keep a blind person entertained? Give them a piece of sandpaper and tell them it’s a word.
Two artists had an art contest. It ended in a draw.
I was gonna tell a rumor about butter, but I don’t want to spread it.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Wife: Stop telling rape jokes, it's not funny. Husband: Who raped you this morning?
My grandfather lost his tongue during WW2.
He never talks about it.
Did you hear about the light bulb party? Yeah, it was pretty lit!
While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, “No honey for you for one month!”
Later that afternoon, Johnny’s dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. “That’s it! No butter for you for one month!” says his dad.
Later that evening as Johnny’s mother cooks dinner, a cockroach runs across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, “Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?”
What is it about a beard and glasses that children find so sexy?
There is an Afghan Barbie; it’s a blow-up doll.
It's funny how you feel so alone with depression, and yet once you tell people on some random website, so many people relate. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop the loneliness.
If it's true what they say and I quote, "God never gives you more than you can handle," then you should pray to those who didn't, that God gave them a body strong enough to survive the attempt.
Would you like a piece of Africa?
Would you like to know why? Because it's a dessert/desert.
Why did the squirrel swim on its back?
So it didn't get its nuts wet.
Two brothers play on the street. One of them finds a condom on the ground. Not knowing what it is, they go to their mum and ask what it is that they found. Mum gets mad and yells to throw that away immediately.
Guys go back to the yard, surprised why their mum got mad for just latex. One of them says: "Why did mum get so angry?" The other: "I have no idea, thankfully we did not tell her that we've eaten the yogurt inside!"
Doctor: I’m so sorry, sir, but you only have a couple months left.
The sir: My children will be devastated.
Doctor: But I have a shot that can change that.
The sir: Whatever it takes.
*Suppressed gunshots*
I think your hairline might have the hiccups.
Answer to it: You might have to give it a wash in the shower.
Yo mama's so stupid, she put airbags on her computer in case it crashed.
A cop pulls two Arabian men over, walks up to their window, and says, "We are looking for two child molesters!"
Now after a short pause, the two men look at each other, then back at the officer and say, "We'll do it!"