it's jokes
How do you make rape funny? Tickle her while you do it.
Let's play pretend. I'll be Nike and you'll be McDonald's, cuz I'll be doin' it and you'll be lovin' it.
How many terrorists does it take to tile a roof?
It depends on how thin you slice them.
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and the Leaning Tower of Pizza?
One held its balance, the other two fell.
I was driving and accidentally hit a crippled kid. They were still breathing, so I told them to walk it off.
When is a car not a car?
When it's a house.
You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."
What's the difference between a baby and a ball?
If you inflate the ball, it won't explode.
Where does Kristen Stewart get her virginity from? She gets it from her mama and papa.
Why is a moon rock tastier than an Earth rock? It’s a little meteor.
Q: Why did the first Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead too.
Q: Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was hit by the other two Koalas on the way down.
Q: Why did the fourth Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it thought it was a game and joined in.
Q: Why did the fifth Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was curious to see where the others were going.
Q: Why did the sixth Koala fall off the tree? A: It was tied to the fifth koala.
Q: Why did the seventh Koala fall off the tree? A: Peer group pressure.
"How does dry skin affect you at work?""You don’t have any elbow grease to put into it."
Josh: What’s the useless piece of skin around the vagina called?
Daniel: Isn’t it the women?
Josh: Oh yes, that’s right.
When you're in a cage But it's not real!
Being in a cage But you have the key.
Being in a cage But nobody sees you.
Being outside of a cage, but it's empty.
Living and realizing you've been born into one.
Thinking someone cared about you But turns out they're toxic as fu**.
But you can't live without them.
The cage Is you. You have the key But you don't know how to use it.
What does a skeleton tile his roof with?
Shin-gles!
What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
If you're bored, just punch an orphan. It's not like they can tell their parents.
Ayo imagine having a chocolate fountain, but instead it cost a billion dollars a gallon and you have a hundred thousands, that number will never equate to how many porno magazines and alcoholic beverages and malty liquors stolen from my brother's bedroom as a desperate attempt at being edgy. Ayo, maybe instead of the future cars being powered by petroleum oil and gas, but with hot chocolate.
Did you know that McDonald's have a new McScully burger?
It's a 59-year-old piece of meat in a 2-year-old bun.
You're so ugly, when you put makeup on, it makes you look like a clown.