it's jokes
The depressed kid went to give a tree a high five...
...but it left him hanging.
When the school shooter misses you, but you gotta play it off.
😐😑
A necrophiliac woman goes over to her friend's house after hooking up.
"Was it hung?" her friend asks.
"No, he was shot."
I tried to warn my son about playing Russian roulette. It went in one ear and out the other.
If a deaf person is missing fingers, is it a speech impediment or an accent?
Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?
From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice.
Did you hear about the new sex doll they've invented for Muslims?
It blows itself up!!
A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”
The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island, and the nearest shore was 50 miles away.
The redhead swam, trying to make it to the other shore. She swam 15 miles, drowned, and died.
The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died.
The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.
How do you cover 12 holes with one hole?
Take a flute and shove it up your ass.
A man shoots up a school and then fakes his own death. He then later returns to shoot up the same school. He repeats the process a few times until the police catch him. When they ask why he did it, he replied, "I wondered when you would check if I was still breathing."
Why don't blind people skydive?
Because it scares their dogs too much!
The Twin Towers and genders have a lot in common. There used to be two, and now it's just a touchy subject.
I was reading a book about an immortal dog yesterday...
It was impossible to put down.
What does B.I.B.L.E. stand for?
Bull Shit In Book Lacking Evidence.
Does it cycle now?
The doctor says to the woman, "There was good and bad news." The woman says she wants the bad news first. The doctor says, "The bad news is the baby had red hair." Then he said, "The good news is, it is dead."
What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
Did you ever receive an anonymous blowjob from another male under the handicapped stall inside the public men's restroom at a rest area and did you have an orgasm and was it the best orgasm that you ever had?