it's jokes
What time is it when you get home and you can walk walk?
What sound does a nut make when it comes alive?
Christmas!
Chris started to tell me a joke about a nut, but he couldn't finish it.
What did the potato say when the sweet potato told it to hurry?
I yam.
Why did the skeleton run away from the crime scene?
He didn't have the guts to see it.
What time is it if you sprain an ankle or an arm?
Time to go to the doctor! 🥼
It's so sad that Stephen Hawking can't stand up for himself.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?
Because he didn't have the guts to do it.
In the Middle Ages it was illegal for a blind man to become a king.
I mean, I don't see why not.
Do you put a baby in the microwave covered or uncovered?
Covered, it can take weeks to clean up the explosion.
A Texan and an Alaskan walk in a room. The Alaskan says, "My state is bigger than yours." The Texan says, "It won't be when it melts!"
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
It doesn't know where home is.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
More than five because my basement is still dark.
Why does a cow love music?
Because it can play a moo-sical instrument.
Why is the beach friendly?
Because it waves!
My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!
Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably shit.
I asked my girlfriend if she was a smoke alarm. She said, "Is it because I warned him when hotness came?" I said, "No, you don’t shut up!"
I wondered why the pitcher hadn’t pitched the ball yet.
Then it hit me.
Why didn’t Steven Hawking go to heaven? Because it was a stairway, not a rampway.