it's jokes

Lily, Amy, Natalie, and Gabriella, it's my birthday tomorrow. Please come if you want to come. If you come to the party, there will be snacks and cake. Ty.

Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...

Last post for today, but I had to say one more thing! Tomorrow I am going to Six Flags, and I am literally so excited! It is going to be so much fun. Hope you guys have a good MLK JR. day! Woohooo!

Figure: Who wants to play hide and seek?

Seek and Hide: Me.

Figure: Ok, Seek, you're it. Me and Hide will hide.

Seek: Why do I have to be the seeker?

Figure: Because your name is in seeker.

What’s the difference between a pornstar covered in slime and The White Stripes?

One has "Icky Thump," and the other does "icky hump."

So there’s this air purifier in my room, right? It’s really noisy, so I unplugged it to sleep better, and sure enough, I fell asleep faster. So I came to the conclusion: if I unplug noisy machines, people will sleep better.

It worked really well in my local hospital.

Your hairline is so back when the police saw it, they had to arrest you.

Titanic is like our president; it cracks in half and dies.

"I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered!"

I would tell you an abortion joke, but it was only temporary.

Your mum is so fat, when she reached for the remote, when she found it, it was crushed.

What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

Yo forehead so big it touches yo neck.

If I had to rate the attack on the Twin Towers from the Muslims, I'd give it a 9/11.

I made a website for orphans, but it wouldn’t let me put a homepage.

You're so short, when it rains you're the last one to know.

Jeffrey Dahmer was craving Five Guys before it became a restaurant!

Q: How do you know it's time for bed at the Neverland Ranch? A: When the big hand touches the little hand.

I would make a joke about Silver the Hedgehog... but it's no use!

What's an orphan's favorite toy?

A boomerang because it's the only thing that comes back.