it's jokes

What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

Yo forehead so big it touches yo neck.

If I had to rate the attack on the Twin Towers from the Muslims, I'd give it a 9/11.

Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!

I work on medicine; my job is to smell it to see if it's bad :)

I found someone's hairline. It was on the western front.

What did the South tower get instead of pepperoni pizza?

It got a bunch of plane.

A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.

Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"

The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."

Yo mama's so fat that every time she goes on an elevator, it goes down.

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?

Of course it can, a house can't jump.

Freshman: Hey, what's better, Ford or Chevy?

Senior: I don't f**kin' care as long as it drives.

Freshman: So, I'm guessing it's Chevy?

What's Stephen Hawking's other favorite song?

Steve Winwood's "Just Roll with It Baby."

Wanna hear a pizza joke?

Ah, never mind, it's too cheesy.

This rat did the most amazing thing ever; it was pretty radical, dude.

I asked a man for ten dollars for a cup of coffee. The man said coffee was only a quarter. I told him I was putting all my begs in one ask-it.

"Knock Knock..."

"Who's There?"

"Kenya"

"Kenya who?"

"KENYA OPEN THE DOOR IT'S FREEZING OUT HERE!!!!"

I bought my son an Xbox in 2017. It’s now 2018, and I’m still waiting for him to open it.

A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an Englishman. He says things like,

"It's an elevator, not a lift!"

and

"It's a bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"

He keeps going on until the Englishman says,

"Hey wanker, it's a school, not a god damned shooting range."

Me: God, Bryce, do we really have to talk about this again?

Bryce: What?

Me: You're still talking shit!! I already told you! It's 9 inches! Stop saying it's 3!

P.S. I'm a girl.

Q: Why did the baby cross the road?

A: It wasn't in its car seat.