it's jokes
Your hairline's so far back that Dora the Explorer can't explore it!
Wanna hear a paper joke? Nvm, it's terrible.
Your hairline is so wonky that it looks like the McDonald’s sign.
The Stephen Hawking space telescope will be launched next year. Apparently, it will have four wheels and run off Windows 7.
What do you call it when an Arab girl has an abortion?
Removing a bomb.
I never knew this 😶
A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”
How many East Asians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Tu.
My pal asked me why nobody wants to eat the spaghetti he makes in his restaurant.
Well, because it's impastable.
Q: Why did the student eat his homework?
A: Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
59009 flip it backwards on your calculator... it = boobs!
Can people please shut up about "male privileges"? There is no right that men have that women don't.
Women have the right to genital integrity. Women can vote without having to sign up for the draft.
Women have the right to choose parenthood; men do not.
Women have the right to be assumed caregivers for children.
Women have the right to call unwanted, coerced sex rape.
Women have the right to lower jail sentences for the same crime.
Women have the right to not be assumed sexual predators.
Women have the right to government departments that solely serve their interests. They also have the luxury of "women only" events that men cannot even dream of. (They even took the boy scouts away from us.)
Women have the right to government-enforced gender quotas.
Women have the right to exclusive tax benefits for being a business owner.
Women have the right to domestic violence shelters.
Women have the right to not be assumed the primary aggressor in a domestic dispute.
Women have the right to rape a man or boy, and if she gets pregnant from that man/boy, they can sue him for child support.
So it is women who have more rights.
So shut up, feminists, please.
Why is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman's stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations?
I asked an emo girl, "Do you ever get jealous of your phone when it dies?"
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
Depends how hard you can throw them.
What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?
A blood bath.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.
The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"
Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"
Guys, stop joking about 9/11. It's just plane wrong.
I like 7/11 because it's like 9/11.
I made a website for orphans, unfortunately it doesn’t have a homepage.