it's jokes

This 15-year-old girl wanted a cross on her room with a long nail on the end over her bed. Unfortunately, it killed her dad because it fell off the wall.

(Do you get the joke?)

(Her dad was on her, and it fell and killed him.)

Me: Sorry I couldn’t make it to school yesterday, I had an appointment.

Teacher: What kind of appointment?

Me: I had an appointment with a cut day. 😈😈😈

True story.

What did the girl with no hands get for her birthday?...

We don't know; she hasn't opened it yet.

Why did the emo kid try [to] high five the tree?

So it can hang him.

So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"

One day every kid at the orphanage got coal for Christmas. It was the second worst day of their lives.

What is something in common with gay people and ambulance trucks?

They both take it out the back and go "woo woo!"

The coffee was getting mugged, so it called 911.

Yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scales, it said, "One person at a time, please!"

Teacher: What’s the closest planet?

Kids yell: Sun.

Except for one.

Other kid: Uranus.

Teacher: Uranus?

Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.

So you know there's like dog mixes, right? Like a Snoodle and that stuff, right? So why can't a bulldog and a shih tzu be mixed? 'Cause if they did, it would be called bullshit.

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"The FBI."

"The FBI who?"

"Are you dumb? It's the f#cking FBI, now open up!"

Life is like a penis.

Women make it hard.

Why is the last part of orphanage "age?"

Because it doesn't matter your age.

Everyone has a good heart; they just don't know what to do with it. I say give someone some love. Hate is sooooo stupid. Love is soooo smart!

I have it.

Girl, is your butt made of water, because it is tubig?

He couldn’t stand it anymore with his sister because he is in a wheelchair.

Hey, I got some Domino's pizza, salad, breadsticks, and chicken wings for everyone. Yeah, but make sure Ms. Mandingo gorilla don't eat all up, because if she do, I'm going have to shove it up her fur.

What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Nothing, it just waved.