it's jokes
I could tell my cousin you are so annoying, but she told me first, so we both said it at the same time. 🫣🤣😂
Some kid: Hey, did you know there's an orphanage down the street?!
Me: NO WAY! Wanna check it out?
Kid: NO, IT'S HAUNTED!!
Me: Haunted my ass, let's go!
Kid: Wait, isn't your house also haunted???
Me: Yea
How do you throw a space party?
You plan-et! Hahahaha, get it?
I don't got free candy. It costs child support.
Your mama is so fat, she sunk Atlantis even though it's in the ocean!
What gets wetter as it dries?
A towel!
Quote Of The Day:
It's okay to struggle.
It's not okay to give up.
How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two: one to change the lightbulb, and the other to open fire while the room is dark.
When it's NNN but you have a peanut allergy: 🥳
Where does Kristen Stewart get her virginity from? She gets it from her mama and papa.
Did you hear that Rushdie has a new book? It's titled "Buddha, that Fat Fuck."
What's small and can't turn around in a hallway?
A baby with a javelin in its head!
I'd tell you a joke about infinity, but I'm afraid it will never end.
When I'm peeing in a toilet I don't pee directly into the water. I pee on the curved part of the bowl beside the water because I figure it splashes less, but when you're peeing that close to the edge, the sporadic tiny offshoots of pee become a greater threat.
I'm not sure if the accumulation of these offshoots is greater than the potential splashback from peeing mid-bowl. It's possible that I'm thinking about this too much, but it's also possible that I'm not thinking about this enough.
Why is it that every time I masturbate, things get out of hand?
What does a volcano say when it has a runny nose?
"I have runny volcanoes."
My best opinion: when life goes to hell, you just go down with it.
How many Lawrence Welk fans does it take to change a light bulb?
"A one, and ah two."
I went for a walk today, and I did a good job of telling what time it was.
I have a joke about doors, but you can't handle it!😂