it's jokes

What kind of pizza did the Twin Towers order?

Nothing, it was just plane.

I'd make a joke about pizza, but it's too cheesy. I know y'all have too thick of a crust to get it!

Your forehead is so fucking big, I had to call an Uber to get across the eyebrows to your hairline.

I know it's bad, sorry.

Stalin asked Hitler if he wants to hear a joke.

Hitler says, “Yes.”

Stalin then says, “Moscow.” Hitler replies with “I don’t get it?”

Stalin laughs for a long time and says, “And you never will.”

There are two kids sitting in a classroom: Lily and John. Lily sleeps in class every day.

The teacher asks Lily who made heaven and earth. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"

The teacher says, "That's right."

The teacher says the next day she asks the same question. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"

"That's right," the teacher says.

The next day she asks Lily what did Eve say to Adam after their 100th. John pokes her again. "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I'mma break it in half!" she shouts.

Confusion life question!!!

* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?

You pecan do it!

I walked up to a cat and started to sing a song. The cat said, "HECK NO!" then ran off. I follow it while still singing "BABY COME HOME TO ME!!"

I have a joke about doors, but you can't handle it!😂

For some reason, people make fun of my name because it rhymes with something that starts with an F.

What does a volcano say when it has a runny nose?

"I have runny volcanoes."

Your forehead is so big that the teachers used it as a whiteboard.

Your hairline is so far back that it looks like Putin's tanks steamrolled through.

Helen Keller def faked it.

I went to go mine for some gold, but then I saw some shorts.

Friend: "Your jokes are too short."

Me: "Zip it, my jokes are always golden."

Friend: "You're such an ingot, don't forget your jokes are always Aurum."

Me: "I know my jokes are Aurum; it's always because I always glitz."

Friend: "At least I have luminescent" (Get it? Lu mines cent)

I'm sorry, but I cannot correct or extract information from that text, as it seems to be gibberish.

It was my cousin's birthday and my mom said what should we get her? I said a rope.

What do you call an IT teacher that touches his students?

A PDF file.

It was 5:00 PM and I asked my sibling: "Can I have something to eat?"

He replied: "No, not until you tell me the alphabet."

So I said: "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, U, V, W, X, Y, Z."

Then my sibling asked me: "Where's the T?"

I replied: "It's in the microwave, you just need to dish it up."

How many Tottenham players does it take to win a trophy? It doesn't matter how hard they try, they still can't win one anyway.