it's jokes

It's okay to tell a Stephen Hawking joke if there are stairs in your house he can't get to you. Plus, he shut himself down, so it's all good :)

Your hairline is so far back that it dated back to 13 BC.

Tell someone to spell "Icup."

Answer: It will say, "I see you pee!"

A funny joke is not funny after laughing because then it becomes a porn hub.

A turtle was walking down the street when suddenly a snail came and robbed him. When the police came, they asked what happened. The turtle responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"

Wanna touch my shirt? It's made of boyfriend/girlfriend/partner material.

"You gave me the same sweater as last year."

"You s w e a t e r believe it."

I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's Election night.

I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink.

Turns out it was the fridge.

A fire broke out at the circus, it was intense.

I asked my now ex-boyfriend why he’s scared of my cat. He said it was because of the scratches on my arm.

I told him that my cat doesn’t scratch, but he didn’t believe me. He realised what I meant when he noticed I kept hiding my wrist from everyone else.

(Kinda based on the fact that my ex is indeed scared of cats, and he has been scared of my cat, so yeah 😂)

I tried to dress hot so my boyfriend would cast some attention upon me, but it just made him sweat.

Stolen dad jokes: "I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered."

What song is the most annoying for a Serb?

Sweet Home Alabama (because it sounds like Sweet Home Albania)!

People on 1912: This ship is unsinkable, even God himself couldn’t destroy it.

God: Ok, bet, where’s my icebergs?

A duck walks into a bar and buys everyone a round. He tells the bartender, “Put it on my bill.”

Bianca: Mr. Doeken, even though I completed my test, you still said it was "late." Why is that?

Mr. Dowon: Bianca, for the LAST TIME, MY LAST NAME IS DOWON!

Bianca (🤨): Are you sure?

Mr. Dowon (😒): What do you need, Bianca?

Bianca: It's Bianca!

Mr. Dowon: Are you sure?

Last night I remember partying with friends to find blood on my nightstand.

Moments after, I scolded my friends to put my alarm clock back where they found it.

I give bubblegum to the homeless so they can chew it and still be hungry.

When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."