it's jokes
"Hi, this is Dave's orphanage—you make it, we take it."
Your mom checked for your hairline, but she could not find it.
Did you ever see any white men drowning in the Atlantic Ocean?
Yeah, it went on and on.
I could tell a joke right now, but it's too dark.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Yo mama is so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, it cracked.
If an Indian had powers, it would be throwing tika masala.
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 80 mph? Its butt.
I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.
It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 🤣.
Most orphans were born on the highway. It’s where most accidents [happen].
It’s amazing just how paranoid Hitler was.
In Hitler’s Germany, it was illegal to make jokes about him or his regime.
Come on! Forbidding Germans from making jokes? Isn’t that a bit like forbidding Americans from eating salad?
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni and got plane. (Yes, it's "plain," shut.)
Yo momma's so ugly, when she threw a boomerang, it refused to come back.
Yo momma's like a cloud, when she disappears, it's a beautiful sunny day.
I got a job at a library. I got fired after 15 minutes. They told me it was because I put women's rights in the fiction section.
An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind...
...but it will allow ugly people to get laid.
“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.
I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”
What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?
I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.
Why do mountains never rest?
Because it’s ever-est.
It's called Costa Coffee because it's short for "Cost A lot for boiled, rancid dishwater."