it's jokes

Rape victim

    • What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?

    Say you've parked your car in a bad spot and are just going to move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address.

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    • 9/11

    • Why did the people in 9/11 not call 911? Because it would call the pilots.

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    • Cow

    • Me when I know its my last day of being a cow and I already hate my life

    A close-up photo of a brown and white cow with a wide smile, standing in a grassy field against a clear blue sky.
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    • it's memes

    Man

    • A man is walking into the woods with a young boy.

    Boy: “Hey mister, it’s getting dark out and I’m scared.”

    Man: “How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.”

    War

    • Germany: As long as America stays out of the war, we should win.

    Japan: *bombing Pearl Harbor* Cowabunga It Is!!

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    • Orphan

    • Orphan jokes protest. Anonymous.

    Orphan jokes are just funny so stop trying to ruin our fun!

    Comments:

    Gwen: Stop! It is not funny. Orphans are just out their cold, weak, and need someone! And the jokes are not funny!

    Shut up: Shut up!

    Liv: Gwen stop!!

    Gwen: SHUT UP BITCH!!!!!!!!!

    Shit

    • Today, there was a big test for Little Timmy. During the test, Timmy had to take a really huge shit. So, he rushed to the bathroom. He took a while in there.

    When he was done, he realized there was no more toilet paper left. Since there was nothing around him to use, the only thing he could do was wipe with his hand. His time in the bathroom was up, and he needed to finish that test! He didn’t have time to wash his hands. So, he hurried back. The problem was, the hand he wiped with was his right hand. He used his left hand to complete the test, which made him fail. When he got home, his mother was standing there crossing her arms. “Timmy, the teacher had called and said you wrote sloppy on your test. Why is that?” Timmy replied, “Oh, it’s because I caught a leprechaun with my right hand, but if I opened it, my classmates would scare him away, so I had to use my left.” Timmy’s mother glared at him with disbelief. “Timmy, I don’t believe you. Now open your hand!” Timmy did so and opened his hand. “See, mother? I said you’d scare the shit out of him!”

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    • Battery

    • For one of the most highly regarded minds on the planet, it is a shame he could not create a longer-lasting battery.

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    • Soda

    • I had a dream of swimming in an ocean of orange soda. I guess it is just a FANTAsea.

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    • Rape

    • Men should provide their disobedient daughters with their own "milk" instead of letting them use the mother. That will teach those bitches some respect for men. It may even help them get laid later on in life.

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    • Sausage

    • Christopher and Tony were tempted for a beer, but they only had 2 dollars each.

    Christopher got an idea and ran away to the butcher to see if he could get something good. He came back with a sausage. So they went to a pub and ordered 2 beers and 2 whiskeys.

    "Are you crazy?!" said Tony to Christopher. "We don't have any money!"

    "Take it easy now," said Christopher. "I have a plan."

    When they finished drinking everything up, Christopher put the sausage through his own zipper and begged Tony to bend on his knees and take the sausage with his mouth.

    The bartender saw what they did and threw them out without even paying. So Christopher and Tony kept doing the same thing pub after pub after pub.

    After the 10th pub, Tony said: "I can't do this anymore. I am drunk, and my knees are in too much pain to even handle the walk."

    "How do you think I feel?" said Christopher, exhausted. "I dropped the sausage in the 3rd pub!"

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