it's jokes
Why did Michael Jackson decide to sell the ranch?
Because it was over 10 years old.
Why is there no woman on the moon?
Because it doesn't need to be cleaned.
It's important to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
Am I the only one who's on here because it's not blocked on the school laptop and I can't use my phone in class?
Cows go moo.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw it.
How did the Apple and the emo fall off the tree at the same time?
Because Paul Walker crashed into it.
Me: U know the show called Imagine Dragons?
Friends: No, what is it?
Me: Imagine dragon this nuts across yo mouth.
If you throw a nun, is it called a... Nunchuck???
Why can't an orphan make a YouTube channel?
'Cause they can't make it family friendly.
"I'm sorry," the doctor says, "you have a rare and very contagious disease. We must quarantine you, and you'll only be fed cheese and bologna."
"Will that cure me?" the patient asks.
"Well, no," the doctor replies, "but it's the only food that will fit under the door."
Joe mama so fat when she went to the movies, she sat next to everybody.
Joe mama so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "One at a time, please."
Joe mama so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "To be continued."
I bought a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle.
So I bought a steel whistle, but it steel wooden whistle.
So THEN I bought a LED whistle but it steel wooden LED me whistle.
I hate it when ever I bring a girl over, my parents don't care, but when I bring one of my friends that's a boy, they're like, "Keep the door open," and I'm gay.
Just a joke: When Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said, "It'll get better, just walk it off!"
Why does the heart listen to music a lot?
Because it loves feeling the beat.
When does a pentagon not have 5 sides?
When it’s intersected by a plane.
Joke 1# "Knock, knock." Who's there? "Pastur." Pastur who? "Past ur bedtime."
Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.
Joke 3# Your momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."
What did the cancer cell say to its neighbor?
"Mind if I join you?"
What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?
A blood bath.
I remember when I was at a funeral at the age of 6. I was with my grandma and asked, "Grandma, Grandma, why is that man in a box?"
And she says, "He's in a better place now." I look at her confused and ask, "What kind of box did he live in before?! How is this box better than the last one?! It's just a box!"
And to this day I am still not allowed to go to funerals.