it's jokes

Have you heard of the book about the transgender whale?

It’s called "Maybe Dick."

I was reading a great book about an immortal cat the other day. It was impossible to put it down.

I look at my girlfriend’s ass like a homeless man looks at a trash can.

Like it’s my next meal.

I told the last person I slept with I was pregnant. He freaked the fuck out but calmed down after he realized it was April Fools'.

The look on my cousin's face was hilarious.

What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?

There used to be two, but now it's a sore subject.

What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do when nobody's home?

Beat it.

What is it you can give at Christmas and still keep? Herpes.

There are 206 bones in my body.

When I look at you, it becomes 207.

Yo mama is so fat, when she saw the Titanic, she called it small.

I went to see my dentist, and she warned me it was going to hurt. Then, she told me she was having an affair with my husband. Good news though...the cleaning didn't hurt.

A suicidal boy went up to a tree and said "hi".

The tree never responded; it left him hanging.

What’s the difference between a prostitute and a homeless shelter?

You can shit a load inside of a prostitute, but if you try it in a shelter, you get arrested.

I joined an emo class today. The first lesson I learned was slice and dice and let it flow.

A cow is an earthquake, it's a milkshake.

Why isn't the Moon Emo anymore?

Turns out it was just a phase.

Life as an elevator has its ups and downs.

Why was the obtuse angle hot?

It was more than 90 degrees.

Parallel lines have so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

I have been reading this book about zero gravity. I can’t seem to put it down.

Hi, everyone. Serious question. Would it be illegal to decapitate a worm? Asking for a friend, he's so worried we're going to jail. I'm not. I'm fine. Please reply fast.