it's jokes
Today, I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints. Wow, I’m so nice taking care of the disabled.
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
Why do orphans work boomerangs?
Because it's the only thing that comes back.
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
It's not like they'll tell their parents.
How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest completely full of gold coins.
I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
Why can't Trump go to the White House anymore? Because it's forbidden!
What's the difference between a cat and a banana? It's hard to peel a cat.
A girl walks up to her dad to ask for a dress for prom and he says, "Suck my dick and I'll buy you a dress." She does it and says to him, "Dad, your dick tastes like shit." And he says, "Yeah, your brother wanted a car."
Keep the planet clean. It's not Uranus.
I saw an advertisement for colored pens and how they write. They take a blue pen and write "blue," a yellow pen and write "yellow." I was inspired too.
I took a pen, filled it with my blood, and wrote "AIDS."
What is a little zombie's favorite stuffed animal?
It's a deady bear.
I was reading a book about an immortal cat the other day; it was impossible to put down.
Y'know that foundation called "Autism Speaks"? No, it screeches.
It did not rain very often when Chuck Norris was a kid.
Why?
Because his favorite childhood song was "Rain Rain Go Away."
Why does the Queen have more mobility than the King in chess?
Because it's shaped like the kitchen floor.
I Googled "How to start a Wildfire." It gave me 28,452 matches.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a school shooter?
A school shooter actually makes an impact on its targets.
If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 10-hour Energy?
How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.