it's jokes
Why did the cowboy put his bunk in the fireplace?
'Cause he wanted to sleep like a log!
Spell "I cup." It's funny.
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Suck its cock.
I made a website for orphans, but it didn't have a home page.
What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?
Say you've parked your car in a bad spot and are just going to move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address.
I watched a movie about bones. It was spine-tingling!
I was out to dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I, being 47, had many people shouting at me and calling me a creep.
It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Yes yes yes here it is!
The other day a squirrel asked me for a job. I asked him, "What jobs did you have previously?"
Calmly he answered, "I am a pilot. I can pick it up from here and pile it over there. I also can fly a sign!"
"Too bad, this is a nut cannery, and we're 100% automated. We don't need anyone at this time, sorry."
"No worries, I'm totally nuts anyway. Guess I'll fly a sign across town, don't have bus fare!"
I hate my birthday. For my first birthday my mom gave me my life. I liked it when it was new and fun. Now it's broken and sad and I wanna take it back.
Chuck Norris once stared a basilisk in the eye, and it DIED!
I would make a joke about Kobe, but I don't think it would fly very well.
What’s the worst thing about being a pedophile?
Fitting it in.
Mom: I'm going to the shop. If someone is at the door, don't open it.
Me: Ok.
*Ring*
Me: Opens the door.
Oh sh*t!
Mom: Gets flip flop.
Yo mama so fat that when she sat on an AirPod Pro, she turned it into an iPad!
Landing on its feet won't help a cat in China...
Why was the orphan's first phone an XR?
Because it had no home button.
How you know it’s her time in MJ's house?
When the big hand touches the little hand.