it's jokes
Why was 10 traumatized?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
Why did the orphan become a criminal? It wants to be wanted.
Today I feel diving. Today I feel penalty. Today I feel tap in. Today I feel ghosting. Today I feel finished. Today I feel a bench warmer... I know what it feels to be discriminated... I was bullied because I am Pristiano Penaldo.
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
My nan must really love the quiet game, she's been playing it for ages.
Fill it out if u want
Why is the Leaning Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it had better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
Yesterday I wanted to look up the term "procrastination".
I swear, I'll do it tomorrow.
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor?
Because it can't hit home.
Me: *stabs vampire*
Wife: omg
Me: *beats vampire to death*
Wife: OMG
Me: What?
Wife: You're supposed to give them candy!
Me: Well, that's a sticky situation now, isn't it, Barbara?
Me: *gets down on one knee*
Girlfriend: OMG, it's finally happening!
Me: *falls over*
Girlfriend: The poison is kicking in.
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would just crash and burn.
Why is the Titanic good at baseball? Because it sinks it.
"I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time," a husband says to his wife. She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's."
Comebacks when someone say: Bully: "Your teeth is so yellow that when you start smiling you slow down the traffic." Say: "At least its brighter than your future."
Q: Can orphans hit a home run?
A: No, they don't know what it's like to have a home to run to.
Dad: Hey son, wanna hear a joke?
Son: Sure thing, dad!
Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbor's dog!
Son: I don't get the joke, dad.
Dad: It's my life, son! My life is the joke.
How many children does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Not 27, because my basement is still dark.
Do you know how a dragon is? You don't know who? It's dragging these 2-liter balls across your pathetic face and slamming it into a f*cking dumpster you regret.
When the school shooter breaks into the classroom, and you look at your friend because it's the kid you predicted.
My brother wanted to go fishing. I told him he had to learn how to "master bait". Go look it up on YouTube. Guess who is grounded?