it's jokes
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
The hooker can wash out her crack and reuse it.
What do we want? Plane noises!
When do we need it? Neeooooooowwwww!
This guy tried to kill me, and I asked, "What is this? Friday the Thirteenth?" Michael replied, "Nah, it's Halloween."
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me.
It means a lot!
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday.
I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
Why did the M&M go to school?
It wanted to be a Smartie.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
Hey guys! It's Triple G. You can give me more ideas on jokes, mainly Fish and Sea jokes, as those are the jokes I specialize and only do best on in the comment section below. Please do feel free to thumbs down and comment on improvements, as well as thumbsing up and saying what you liked! :)
Au revoir, GGG
How do you confuse a fish?
Put it in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner!
Don’t fart in an Apple Store.
It has no Windows.
Your breath is so hot, it made the Chicago fire!
How many hookers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Must be more than 9 because my basement is still dark.
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg, and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants."
The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts."
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are robbing a bank. The police are soon after them, so they hide in a bunch of barrels.
The police arrive and search the area. They come over to the barrel where the brunette is hiding and kicks it. The brunette says, "Woof."
"Oh, it's just a dog," says the police officer, and then kicks the second barrel where the redhead is hidden. The redhead says, "Meow."
"Oh, it's just a cat," says the officer, then kicks the last barrel where the blonde is hidden. The blonde says, "Potato."
A guy bought an AMG and crashed it. Now he knows how the Mercedes bends.
There were three people on the third floor of a building. The first one took a bite of an apple, then said it was too hard, so he threw it out the window. The second person took a bite of a lemon. He said it was too sour, so he threw it out the window. The third guy was drunk. He took a bite of a grenade and thought it was too crunchy, so he threw it out the window.
Then one of them went downstairs. He saw a dog laying on the ground dead. The apple had hit the dog in the head. Then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap. It had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head. Next, there was an old guy laughing. I asked him why he was laughing. He said, "I farted and the building behind me blew up."
Okay, so I ate an apple and it tasted good.
What did Santa use as a candy cane?
Wait, wait, I said it wrong.
Okay.
What did Santa use to do his garden...never mind.
Whatever it is, I kind of like it.
How's it going @#$!