it's jokes
Want to hear a joke about milk? No, it's too cheesy.
Why did Sellwood get named?
It is made of wood that got sold.
What did the cell say when it was dividing?
"It's not you, it's me."
I saw a petition on replacing gravestones with trees so it will be a beautiful forest.
Son: Where's grandma?
How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator?.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.
A retired George W. Bush is eating a donut at 7/11 and looks at it. "I'm so happy I did that." A guy overhears the conversation and says, "You're happy you bought that donut? Oh haha, I would be too. I love donuts!" George W. Bush then says, "Oh hahaha, you caught me," and then says, "Oh hahaha, you must have heard me wrong. I said, I'm so happy I did 9/11."
Once I heard a joke about chocolate. It wasn't that funny, so I just Snickered.
Once I heard a joke about chocolate the other day. It wasn't that funny. So I just Snickered.
"You gave me the same sweater as last year." "You s w e a t e r believe it."
SPOILER ALERT...
I was going to tell you a joke about Thanos, but T. S. snapped it away!
How many times does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Tentacles!
Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
What is the last thing that goes through a fly's head when it hits the windshield?
Its butt.
Yo mama so fat it took Nationwide three years to get on her good side.
JACK smoked some shit in the casino bathroom.
Then fucked a slut, played some slots, took some shots, then shot a JOKER!
It's a sad story, because JACK killed himself, but he died with a smile.
The QUEEN took a shit at the poker table. It was a ROYAL FLUSH.
Mom: You need to grow up. You're so immature.
Me: *glares* Get out of my castle....
Mom: It's a pillow fort.
Me: Why can't I have an imagination! ?
Mom: You're almost 19 years old.
Me: Not good enough... OUT!
Me: Knock knock.
Friend: Who's there?
Me: A broken pencil.
Friend: A broken pencil who?
Me: Nevermind, it's pointless.
Why can’t you run in a campground?
Because it’s past tents.
So, I know that there are a lot of egg yolks on this website, and I guess I got beat to it, but I'm eggcited to say eggsactly what the eggs say.
I know I'm bad at this, but I hope you will crack up anyway.