it's jokes

You should never suppress a fart. It travels up the spine high into the brain. That's where the shit ideas come from.

Better to drink until you wave it off than to wave it down.

If a deaf person is missing fingers, is it a speech impediment or an accent?

I told my lesbian friends, "I wanna watch," so they bought me a Timex®.

It takes a licking and keeps on ticking.

Every one is talking about glory holes, so I decided to look into one.

I was doing renovations on a house and found a wall with a glory hole. I was going to remodel it, but it's load bearing. I asked a gay carpenter how to fix this, and he advised that I check out the studs first to make sure they were uncut.

Eventually, I gave up and just put my nuts through the hole. Now they're walnuts.

What did the squirrel say when he chewed some saggy boobs?

Is it just me or do these taste like nuts?

Why is chemotherapy like a five-star meal?

Because you have to have money to pay for it.

A guy walks into a zoo, but it only has one dog.

It's a shitzu.

If I ever have a YouTube channel, I'm pretty sure it would be called "101 Things NOT To Do With Electrical Sockets."

I'm gonna make a documentary about meth-addicted prostitutes.

I think I'll call it "Whores on Ice."

Three girls were lined up for execution. The black-haired one, being the smart one, turned around and yelled, "Tornado!"

Everyone panicked, and she escaped. The red-headed one, following her example, shouted as the executioners got back, "Hurricane!"

The red-headed friend escaped too. Now, it was the blonde's turn. Following both her friends, she turned to the executioners and yelled:

"Fire!"

Today I asked my best friend what their favorite joke was. They started waving their hands around, and I thought it was a sign to go, thinking I had offended them or something. Turns out they were mute...

My friend went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog in a crate.

He said it was a Shitzoo!

Isn't Barbie supposed to come with Ken?

Barbie comes with G.I. Joe. She fakes it with Ken.

Why do people use terms like "sucky" to mean that they don't like something?

If something "sucks," shouldn't that signify that it is at least good for one thing and will bring pleasure?

Your hairline is so back down, it is in your neck.

When it comes to mosquitoes in Africa, should you feel bad that they're getting AIDS from their victims?

What do you call it when a tranny commits suicide?

A good start.

The only thing the orphan learned from his dad is the hide-and-seek skill to hide for 18 years. He tried it out; now he has infinite milk.

What song is the most annoying for a Serb?

Sweet Home Alabama (because it sounds like Sweet Home Albania)!